This past week, I lost my grandmother – a woman I have always admired for her strength, faith and ability to ‘tell it like it is’ no matter how hard it was to hear. I would very much like to carry on that tradition with your help and in her honor. After May 1st, I’ll have to close up shop unless you want it to stay open.
Writing the truth is sometimes painful – but everything worth doing involves risk. Damn near everything I have done in the past two years, I have done with eyes wide open – embracing the random and following the path. This involved risks not everyone would be prepared to take – my family included. They worry – but they do not see – they criticize – because they do not understand or take the time to understand.
They live in a bubble of denial called the American Dream. This is a bubble that burst for me a long time ago.
Everything is about money. And right now, I haven’t got it. Who does but those who have had the blessings of an economy that worked properly for them, who had opportunities like schooling, or who have partners in life who aided and supported their goals as well as their own? Something I have tried twice – and always put my goals on the backburner for family – until my daughter left home. Then I took the leaps that got me where I am.
Am I successful? Define success.
My goals have never been about money – though it is nice to have to function better in the system that has been propped up – but it is a system I have purposefully avoided because I wanted it to have no control of my mind, my spirit or my conscience. This equates to many as lack of initiative, laziness and assumptions about my character that simply aren’t true. The worst part is these assumptions are currently from my own family. Truly the makings of an epic book – but in this economic, political and sexist climate – it puts me in a very dangerous position of free fall.
After a year full of occupy victories, meeting those who began the journey to Zucotti, being published alongside heavy hitters like Chris Hedges and Noam Chomsky – I’m truly honored – but amazed to be in this position. The majority of my family and friends here have no clue who these people are or even what Occupy means [and will mean] for them. They do not know they are the 99%.
It’s like John Steinbeck described my family when he aptly said “[They]…see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” I face homelessness in a collapsing economy and spiritually bankrupt society – because they are temporarily embarrassed by my lack of will to engage in their losing game. They do not understand that my best shot is right here – writing, sharing news and raising hell to change the rules so that this game isn’t rigged for my daughter and my nieces – their grandchildren.
I am not ashamed of that goal – and I will not be shamed for it – that they do not see it or understand it is of no consequence to history. It is however, a consequence for me if I am to continue to report history.
It is do or die time. Not just for TRC. There are many plans made for this entity – but they cannot come to fruition without you. Due to extenuating circumstances, I am unable to continue to with the vision of TRC after May 1st – unless – you can help me reach the goal that sets this in motion.
I am the 99%.