If Independence existed on the net – you could grow your own food on it, speak plainly without being spied on and do what you like and say what you like with no other repercussion than the block you live on.
Okay, look. I’ve been gone quite awhile and understand the myriad notes and messages I have received in regards to the ‘state of the nation’ but if you look through my archives, you’ll see that I was quite concerned before many movements even showed up on the scene and now dripping off the lips of people new to being pissed off, like some loose change dangling from their gobs.
I’ve taken some g’damn time off. I deserved it.
It is not my fault that shit went to [the fifth or sixth circle of] hell while I was away – shit was in the seventh circle in my mind over five years a ago, so I’ve been a little busy making plans rather than talking about them.
In the same breath, I can say that during my ‘hiatus’, I’ve become quite the grounded, calm and busy person.
I’ve moved into a homestead in southern Indiana, quite literally two years before I imagined doing so and now that I have, I’ve been busy getting to know my neighbors, community and growers. This is what I have always preached and am now putting my words into action. Am I late? Am I a newbie? Of course, I am. But I am coming at it with the intent of every word before it – the intent has always been there because I spoke it. Either aloud or through this venture.
Recently, much more than words have been demonized – the whole world is watching this country squirm in its collective easy chair and many saw this coming, including myself because of the teachers I had. Do I feel bad for those who did not see it? Of course. Do I feel bad for those I warned over a year ago who still feel the need to squirm? Not necessarily.
There is always the sense of ‘oneness’ and in the same breath, I can say that oneness does not occur automatically. Not through blessings, not through faith but through trial. Through the mud and muck only does the lotus blossom.
Well…I’m in the place I need to be because I never questioned the path that led me to where I am. I may have questioned others who sought to show me a different path – but inside, I maintained my own and that made all the difference in the world.
“As time passes we all get better at blazing a trail through the thicket of advice.” – Margot Bennett
This was a quote that hung steadfastly through a myriad of experiences – and those that dispensed with advice were taken lightly, especially those that were living in the city and those that felt the need to dispense advice to me when they did not know me from Adam. [Even folks that thought they knew me ten years ago, don’t recognize photographs of me now.]
This is what happens when one chooses truth – which is akin to tripping down a rabbit hole. Sometimes you come out the other side ready to slay a Jabberwocky and sometimes you come out ready to take some time to yourself before picking up that sword.
Well…I’ve taken that time. Others may bitch about it, complain that I have not done enough or given enough. Money never meant a thing to me – it was only ever a means to an end. But in my life, it was the end of a marriage – the end of my passion. Asking for it on behalf of a greater cause, only left me hungry and without a roof over my head. So I got wise…r.
A job [as an independent contractor/call analyst] fell in my lap – it’s not sexy, it’s not fun, it’s not even interesting – but it gets my bills paid and it keeps me in a place to afford me to do THIS. WRITE. And contribute to others who are trying to do the same. SO…
My Independence Day screed ends like this: I did it my way. I never begged – I asked politely with the support of others and ALWAYS tried to offer something in return [a tee shirt, a mug, a photograph]. I never stole. I never borrowed to build TRC. Those who gave, believed. Those who did not but shared/reposted, did what they could. Now, I do it MY WAY.
And that, my friends…is independence. If you don’t like that, you can eat a bag of dicks. I have many people to thank but from here on out, I speak my mind without fear, without apology, without regret. Because I am motivated to do so by no one…but myself…and my ancestors. I found a way to make it work.
After the month we’ve had – I feel a duty to be here – even if only a few posts per week, I can no longer stay silent. I no longer feel pressure. I no longer feel weight. I no longer feel beholden. I no longer have to answer to anyone.
I feel…FREE. And THAT comes with some responsibility. I feel confident that everyone can agree on that.
Sat nam ~ Gabrielle